Alisa DiLoenzo made the following observation: “Your marriage needs intimacy to be the priority no matter what the season. We hate hearing that someone has put their marriage on the back burner because of this or that “season. Your spouse needs to know that they are your priority.”
Why not plan for romance by booking a little 24hr getaway at a nearby hotel as something to look forward in the very near future – agenda ‘flexible’, but should include wonderful food, expressing gratitude & thanks, and intimacy – happy hugs are just the start and passionate kissing reduces stress.
Never do anything that would display a lack of support for your spouse with his or her family members. In fact, your job is to help your husband or wife become successful with their brothers, sisters and parents.
If you criticize an in-law, it creates a problem for your spouse. You may be correct or justified in your accusation, but you shouldn’t fan the flames. Instead, you need to do all you can to move your spouse and that other family member toward reconciliation, no matter how you may feel about the situation. ~ Dr. Randy Carlson
“God made husbands and wives to be a team, to be helpmates, to become one. I want to encourage you to look at your wife or husband from a different perspective. Don’t look down on your mates’ weaknesses, but use your strengths to help him or her. Don’t be jealous of your mate’s accomplishments; let his or her strengths help you become a better person.”
“Our goal should be to use our talents and strengths to compliment our mate’s.” ~ David Maitland
“What good is my love if it stays in my heart?
Hidden from the world and my partner?
Love can be an action as simple as doing the vacuuming,
making dinner, or an unexpected hug.
Love can be as simple as giving my partner
more attention than I give to the television.”
~ Poem by Henry James Borys
“The best gift is found in each present moment.” ~ Kevin D. Arnold Ph.D., ABPP
Thought for parents
“money doesn’t equal memories.” “A lot of parents put really unrealistic expectations and demands on themselves to provide certain experiences for their kids. Your presence, time, attention, and joy are what your kids are going to feel and remember.” ~ Dr. Ferrance
THE SEASON OF ‘CHRISTMAS’ ….
……………………IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
“First & foremost, Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of Christ. When we lose sight of that & focus on our family get-togethers and the obligations of smiling and hugging people with whom we hold grudges, we take our eyes off of Christ. When we remember that Christmas is about the celebration of the birth of Christ, we are able to more clearly see others through His eyes. This means that we aren’t as likely to see the hurt in our relationships but the way that Christ loves that person who has hurt or harmed us.” ~ Cheryl Dickow
Remember Your Kids want Connection not Perfection!
Don’t worry about keeping up with the latest trends or run yourself down doing more than you can realistically handle.
The Holidays can be a wonderful time to build memories, being deliberate in how you connect with your children can make it a truly magical time.
Your shared time together is what will matter in the long run. ~ Ariadne Brill
Kids need downtime, just to chill out, snuggle, and do whatever relaxes them. If they don’t get it, they’ll melt down or get oppositional when the over-stimulation gets to them.
Here are a few spins on traditional holiday festivities to get you started:
Go out to eat instead of cooking.
Have a holiday picnic in a new part of the house.
Eat dinner while watching holiday movies.
Buy new holiday decorations.
Your kids don’t need a magazine-spread holiday. They need you, in a good mood, living the spirit of the season and spreading love and good cheer. The minute your mood veers from loving to frenzied, STOP. Hug your children and regroup.
Spend time with extended family.
Change your gift-giving routine.
Take silly family pictures.
And at New Years, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself on a job well done, not just in December, but every day, all year long. You’re a hero, just because you get up every morning and try to do right by your child. Appreciate yourself, so you can keep being heroic!
Aha! Parenting philosophy ~ Dr. Laura Markham
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie as we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked: “How many children do you have?
He answered: “Twelve.”
The agent asked, “Where are the others?”
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”
Enjoy the season as you spread joy and hope to those around you.