Lifemates

We are rapidly approaching the holiday season when busyness often takes centre stage and more than ever we need to make the time to be present.

Dave Boehi wrote:

The problem is, “We are tempted to think that our little ‘sips’ of online connection add up to a big gulp of real conversation. But they don’t. E-mail, Facebook, Twitter, all of these have their places – in politics, commerce, romance, and friendship. But no matter how valuable, they do not substitute for conversation. The drift from conversation to connectivity – from ‘talking to texting’ – should be a concern for any married couple and any parent. Other technologies – particularly television – have distracted us from conversation for many, many years, but recent advances give us the option to replace it. How can you develop and maintain a strong relationship with your spouse or anyone else in your family if you aren’t talking to each other?”

Steve & Cindy Wright wrote:

“Now, we understand that sometimes a phone call or a text comes in where you need to tend to it because it’s an emergency or it’s from someone you’ve been trying to get a hold of for a while and you need to take advantage of the connection. But that should be more of the exception, rather than the norm, if it is interrupting time you should be focused on your spouse. If we don’t make our marriage relationship a priority where we show we’re present with our spouse physically, mentally, and emotionally, some day we may find our spouse will no longer be interested in being with US physically, mentally, emotionally, or in any way. We didn’t marry one another to ignore each other – to make everything and everyone else more important than our spouse. So why is it okay to be rude and ignore the person we vowed to “love, honour and cherish,” and put them off time and time again by texting and talking on the phone to anyone who contacts us? Electronic devices can become addictive if you aren’t careful. Time spent with technology and other “necessary” interruptions can grow into something you HAVE to do and time spent with your spouse is shoved into the background IF you can make the time.”

Why not proclaim a digital fast over Christmas. That’s the love challenge to us all!


TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:

Pace yourselves. Be good stewards of your time and energy. Note that when you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy.

This is not the time to fix your family – just show love.

“Keep in mind the best gift you can give each other is a loving relationship. So make decisions that nurture your marriage and reduce tension. ~ James and Heather Sells

“I’ve declared this Christmas the ‘Christmas of my First Love’ where I’ll help my spouse and our family shift our focus from the mall to the manger. The manger is quiet and less crowded. It’s a place where children are always welcome.” ~ Jim Burns


THOUGHT

The following is a sample answer to a simple question:

“How are you?”
“Good.”

You need to ask questions that have true feeling eg:

“What are you excited about right now?”

An open-ended question gives the recipient the opportunity to share about something meaningful and real that’s going on in their life.

We can end small talk and have better conversations.

Based on a blog by The Gottman Institute.


QUOTES

“Your children need your presence more than your presents.” ~ Jess Jackson

“If you view your partner or spouse as someone who deserves the best of you, then that’s what you will give them, and that means your total focus and awareness when they’re speaking to you.” ~ Ora Nadrich

“A foolproof method for resurrecting new hope in a discouraged, pessimistic heart is to allot special time to play with children. Little creatures who have their eyes fixed on tomorrow can make a gnarled veteran of life’s wars forget the pain of past failures and believe in the future again.” ~ Leland Griffin in an article for ‘Today’s Father’.

“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~ Thich Nhat Hanho


FOR PARENTS

As we approach that time of year when many celebrate the wonder that God Himself, the creator of the universe, came to earth as a tiny baby in order to make the way for people to come to Him, may we reflect upon this prayer from P D James:

Dear God

Help me give my child the one thing
he or she most requires: my attention.
In giving them my attention,
I give them my presence.
To give them my presence
I need to be filled with Yours.
Fill me with Your presence
so I can incarnate You to them.
Amen.


REMEMBERING TO MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER

At selected cinemas from November 1, ‘Indivisible’ is a perfect opportunity to go out with your spouse and enjoy a movie together. Check here Five Loaves Media for cinemas and screening times and also to see the trailer.

“Emotionally powerful, INDIVISIBLE accurately portrays not only the challenges of marriage, but also the beauty and the importance of commitment, love and faith in the real world. This true-life movie is a must see for every couple.” ~ Gary Chapman, PhD. Bestselling Author

Wishing you great Peace and Joy as you celebrate His birth.

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